Playing Up Read online

‘Yes, Sunil?’ Mudge looked a little peeved at being interrupted.

  ‘Uh, Sir, the bell went ten minutes ago.’ Sunil smiled so that his dimple showed. ‘I’d be happy to stay, but I have to get to coaching college.’

  Davey rolled his eyes at his friend’s ability to suck up, and Sunil shot him a sly grin.

  ‘Look at that!’ Mudge exclaimed, glancing at the clock. ‘Yes, of course, Deep. Mustn’t hold you kids up from your extracurricular activities!’

  He dabbed at the layer of sweat on his forehead and chuckled to himself.

  Kids? Davey mouthed. Mudge never called them kids. Monsters, abominations probably, but not kids. And he never agreed with them.

  ‘Off you go, then!’ Mudge called after them, with something close to affection. Who had taken Mudge away and replaced him with this imposter? Davey wondered.

  Davey hung back as the rest of 6M filed out of the classroom. Sunil’s fib had given Davey an idea. He’d tell Mudge that the bat belonged to his Uncle Vernon.

  ‘Um, Sir . . .’

  ‘No, David,’ Mudge replied, without looking around while he wiped down the board. ‘I have not changed my mind.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘If you take one step out of line, I’ll call your mother and tell her what happened today. I’m sure she’ll find it interesting.’ Mudge hummed as he pottered around the room, tidying up.

  Mmm. Not so good. Davey changed plan. ‘Do you know where you’ll be keeping it, Sir?’ he asked casually.

  Mudge turned to him and gave a wink. ‘THAT is the million-dollar question, isn’t it, Warner? For me to know and you to find out.’

  Davey knew it was useless to argue. He abandoned the classroom and made his way over to get his bike. His mates would already be down at the beach having a hit before training.

  At the bike racks, Davey found Mo, Nero and Tony blocking his way.

  ‘Oh dear, Warner,’ Mo pouted like a toddler having a tantrum. ‘What are you going to do without your p-p-p-precious bat?’

  Davey gritted his teeth and unlocked his bike. There was no point biting back. Anyway, he’d had enough for the day. First Mudge, and now Mo.

  ‘Going home to have a cry?’ Mo taunted.

  Davey paused. There were a few comebacks lining up in his head, but it would just infuriate Mo, possibly to the point of no return. Time to dig deep, he thought.

  He looked at Mo and gave him his biggest grin. ‘Not at all. I couldn’t be happier, Clouter.’

  Then he jumped on his bike and pedalled away without looking back.

  Later, at training, Davey was unsure where to begin without Kaboom. He hung back as the others sorted themselves into positions and began to practise. Their coach Benny hadn’t arrived, but that wasn’t unusual. Benny showing up to training would be more unusual.

  ‘Want to use my bat?’ Sunil offered. He had a beautiful Kookaburra bat that he polished obsessively.

  Davey knew it was a big thing for Sunil to lend his bat to anyone. But Davey shook his head. It wasn’t the same.

  ‘Nah, I’ll bowl.’ He grabbed his ball from his school bag and headed to the other wicket. ‘Steve, the know-it-all cricket oracle, reckons I need the practice, anyway.’

  ‘Let’s see what you’ve got then, Warner,’ Sunil said. He grabbed his bat and took up his position at the crease.

  Davey gave the ball a quick rub against his thigh. He might as well take Steve’s advice and concentrate on his leg-spinners. He couldn’t always rely on his batting – especially now he was Kaboomless. Being a better bowler will make me a better batter, he told himself.

  As Davey did a few arm warm-ups, Steve’s advice kept coming back to him: Concentrate on getting the ball to the right place. But leg-spinners were really difficult to get right.

  After a few warm-up bowls, Davey was still finding it hard to get the ball in the right spot. He bowled to George next, but it was too short and George pulled it square. The next ball was too full and wide and George smacked it through the off side.

  ‘Come on, Warner!’ George called out. ‘Give us a hard one!’

  Finally Davey landed the ball in the right spot. It turned and beat George, knocking over his off stump.

  ‘Ah!’ That felt a little better.

  ‘Way to go!’ Sunil shouted.

  ‘Over here, boys!’ Benny was standing on the edge of the park, bags of equipment at his feet.

  ‘Only half an hour late,’ George said to the others. ‘Not bad for Benny.’

  The boys wandered over. Benny was puffed from lugging all the gear a good two metres from his car.

  ‘Sorry I’m late,’ he said, scratching his scalp. Davey watched as white flakes tumbled onto his shoulders and rested there in a snowy patch.

  While the team gathered around him, Benny took a moment to catch his breath. ‘I’ve got some news,’ he announced, a quiver of excitement in his voice.

  Davey’s ears pricked up. He caught Sunil’s eye. He also looked as if he was eager to hear what Benny had to say.

  ‘I’ve been given a heads-up that a regional selector is keen to come along this week to take a look at you all,’ Benny said.

  ‘Yes!’ Davey punched the air. It was the news they’d been waiting for all season.

  ‘That’s awesome!’ George said.

  ‘Don’t get your hopes up,’ Benny added quickly, with a look of commiseration. ‘The chances of any of you lot getting picked are pretty close to zero. It’s always best to aim low in my experience,’ he concluded, farting at the same time.

  Despite the pong, the team immediately broke into excited chatter. Even Benny’s usual pessimism couldn’t take the shine off the news. A selector coming to watch them meant that they were on the lookout for new talent for the local rep side. It was the moment Davey had been waiting for. The news was huge.

  ‘When will he be here?’ Sunil asked.

  ‘Tomorrow night,’ Benny continued, ‘so we’ll do an extra training night this week. Make sure you’re all on time,’ he said, waggling a sausage finger at them.

  That was rich coming from Benny, thought Davey. The last time he turned up on time was probably 1985.

  ‘This is my chance!’ Sunil sucked in his breath, his eyes glassy with excitement.

  ‘Dream on, Deep,’ George said. ‘It’s me they’ll want.’

  Sunil rolled his eyes. ‘Only if they need someone to do the drinks run. Then you’d be a shoo-in.’

  George silenced his friend with a look.

  Mudge couldn’t have picked a worse week to ruin Davey’s life. Without Kaboom, what hope did he have for impressing anybody?

  ‘Boys, we need a plan.’ Davey drew the others in close to him. ‘I’ve got to have Kaboom back in time for tomorrow night. Otherwise I’m cactus.’

  CHAPTER 5

  FACING THE MUSIC

  It was dark by the time Davey wheeled his bike up the side path. He crossed his fingers and prayed that Mr Mudge hadn’t called his mum to tell her about the bat. If Mudge had told her, Davey would be in BIG trouble – so much trouble, in fact, that he might as well turn around and leave home, never to return.

  Davey knew his mum would freak if she found out that Kaboom had been confiscated – for two reasons. The first was, well . . . Davey could hear her now: You were playing cricket in class? And Mr Mudge got hit in the head! What were you thinking?

  The second reason was that the bat had been a very special birthday present from his parents and granddad. If his mum found out, she’d think he didn’t know how to look after his stuff. Looks like we won’t be buying you any more serious presents like that again, she’d say. And even worse: Granddad’s very disappointed!

  Max appeared around the corner and tore down the path towards him, barking and wagging his tail furiously.

  ‘Max, you’re a menace,’ Davey said, giving the dog a rough scratch behind the ears. Pushing past his dog, he wheeled his bike around the back and looked up at the house. All seemed quiet, but then, that didn’t
mean anything.

  ‘Is Mum home?’

  Max cocked his head. You’ll find out, he seemed to say. He wasn’t giving anything away. After all, Davey’s mum fed him!

  ‘Mmm.’ Davey got the hint. ‘No cracking you, Mr Mutt,’ he said. ‘All right, where’s the ball?’

  At the mention of the word ‘ball’, Max jumped up on his hind legs and did a little dance.

  ‘Here you go.’ Davey pulled a ball from his bag and pelted it to the far end of the yard.

  Max took off at lightning speed. He launched himself at the rolling ball, grabbed it in his teeth, turned a one-eighty and charged back towards Davey.

  It was a perfectly timed routine. Just as Davey bent down to pick up the ball, Max dropped the slobbery article at his feet.

  ‘Let’s see what you think about this one!’ Davey took a run-up and came hurtling towards Max.

  ‘Mix it up, keep it on a length . . .’ he said, mimicking his brother, before firing a googly at the imaginary batsman.

  Max yelped in admiration and raced after the ball.

  ‘Not bad,’ said a voice.

  Davey swung around in surprise.

  Steve was slouched against the frame of the back door. ‘Dinner’s ready,’ he said.

  Davey climbed the back stairs. ‘Is Mum home?’

  ‘Yep,’ Steve said. ‘She cooked it.’

  Davey dropped his voice so his mum wouldn’t overhear. ‘I’m in a bit of trouble,’ he whispered to Steve. ‘I was mucking around and, well, Kaboom got confiscated.’

  ‘Let me guess . . . Mudge?’ Steve laughed.

  Davey nodded.

  ‘Mum’ll freak!’ Steve exclaimed a little too loudly.

  ‘Shh!’

  ‘I won’t dob, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

  ‘Boys, dinner’s ready!’ their mum called.

  ‘Do you think she knows?’ Davey asked. He peered anxiously through the open door, trying to get a glimpse of the expression on his mother’s face.

  Steve shrugged. ‘Better get inside.’

  ‘Hang on . . .’ Davey said. ‘Can I use your bat?’

  ‘Mate, no way!’ Steve held up his hands in protest. ‘We’ve got the game against the Skiffs this weekend, and practice is on every night.’

  ‘I forgot about that,’ Davey mumbled, disappointed.

  ‘Anyway, you should practise with lots of different bats. You shouldn’t just rely on one.’ Steve was giving advice again.

  ‘Quit it, will you?’ Davey snapped. ‘I don’t want other bats. I want my bat!’

  ‘Down, boy!’ Steve backed away. ‘Cool it.’

  ‘Benny says a selector might turn up tomorrow night,’ Davey muttered.

  ‘Seriously?’ Steve asked. ‘Well, it’s still good advice. You don’t want to be scared in a game just ’cause you don’t have the perfect equipment. You’ve got to mix it up.’

  ‘Scared? I’m not scared of anything!’ Davey had heard enough of Steve’s advice to last until the year 2065.

  ‘David and Steven Warner!’ their mum shouted in a shrill voice. ‘For the last time, DINNER IS READY!’

  The boys looked at each other in alarm.

  Davey grimaced. ‘Well, apart from Mum sometimes . . .’

  The two brothers hurried inside.

  CHAPTER 6

  CAUGHT OUT

  ‘I’ve never been at school this early before,’ Kevin said as they entered the school grounds. There were only one or two students on the near-empty playgrounds. ‘It’s like a ghost town.’

  ‘McKinley’s always early,’ Sunil said, ‘and lucky for you blokes she lurves me.’ He flashed his best dimpled smile.

  After Benny’s announcement, Sunil had done some fast thinking and come up with a plan for them to find Mudge’s hiding place for Davey’s bat.

  ‘Please,’ Davey said, ‘just lead the way, lady-killer.’

  ‘Watch and learn.’ Sunil smirked as they approached the admin office.

  Operation Kaboom was a go.

  Sunil approached the desk of Mrs McKinley, Head of Administration, while the others waited just inside the doorway. McKinley wore coke-bottle thick glasses and was so old that nobody at school remembered a time when she hadn’t worked there. Despite looking a little like a bilby, she wasn’t a bad old stick.

  Sunil cleared his throat. ‘Good morning, Mrs McKinley!’ he said brightly.

  ‘Is that you, Mr Deep?’ Mrs McKinley leant forward and peered at Sunil through her glasses.

  ‘Yes!’ Sunil smiled so his dimple showed. ‘Mr Mudge has asked for another forty copies of the band excursion form, please.’

  Mrs McKinley shook her head and waggled a finger. ‘That Mr Mudge! He does keep me busy.’

  ‘Don’t I know it!’ Sunil joked.

  Davey felt a teensy bit bad about hoodwinking McKinley. She might be ancient, but she was always kind.

  ‘I know that one.’ Mrs McKinley shuffled off in slow motion to find the file. ‘Pink, if I remember correctly.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Sunil crooned.

  She licked a finger and selected a piece of pink paper from the top of the pile. ‘All right, dear.’ She shuffled off down the hall. ‘I’ll just copy them for you.’

  Sunil waited until she was out of sight.

  ‘Now!’ Sunil whispered.

  Davey, George and Kevin sprang into action. They scuttled past the office and down the corridor as Sunil joined them.

  ‘That should buy us a few minutes,’ Davey said, patting Sunil on the back.

  The four boys crept towards the green door at the end of the corridor. The staffroom was strictly off limits to students. Nobody they knew had EVER tried to enter it without permission and lived to tell the tale.

  Davey’s mouth felt dry as Kevin cautiously opened the door a crack. He noticed Kevin’s hand was shaking.

  Kevin peered inside. ‘All clear,’ he said and entered the room. The others followed close behind.

  The staffroom was brightly lit, with fluorescent light shining on every desk surface. Around the sink area there were dog-eared signs about washing up on the wall and reminders about rosters. But a quick look around the room revealed no Kaboom in sight.

  ‘Cupboards!’ Davey moved at lightning speed across the room and began to open the built-ins that lined one wall. They scoured every available storage area, but all they found were odd mugs, plates and cake platters.

  ‘Zilch,’ George said.

  ‘We’d better get out of here.’ Sunil glanced at the clock on the wall, ‘McKinley’s not that slow.’

  Davey was disappointed, but he nodded.

  ‘Er, guys . . .’ George pointed to the door.

  The door handle was turning. Davey looked around for somewhere to hide, but there was nowhere. On impulse, he bobbed down behind a table and pulled Sunil down with him.

  ‘I know you’re in here,’ said a familiar voice as the door opened. It was Mudge.

  ‘Holy moly.’ George sucked in his breath. ‘We’re done for.’

  Mudge glared at them. Gone was the jolly teacher from the day before. Back was the cranky teacher they knew so well.

  ‘What do we have here? The staffroom is OUT OF BOUNDS for students!’ Mudge thundered, entering the room and stopping in front of Davey and Sunil. Davey studied his long white socks and hairy knobbly knees. He stood up slowly.

  ‘There’s a really good explanation for this, S-S-Sir,’ Davey stammered. His mind raced. He was so dead they may as well have buried him right there.

  ‘I’m all ears, Warner.’ Mudge was seething. His ears had gone such a dark shade of purple they were almost black.

  ‘My bat, Sir . . . The selector . . .’ Davey’s voice trailed off.

  ‘Yes?’ Mudge snapped. ‘All I hear about is this bat, bat, bat! One of the things that annoys me most about cricket is the confounded bat!’

  ‘Sir, I need it to play,’ Davey tried again to explain.

  ‘Warr-ner, you will be lucky if you ev
er see your stupid cricket bat again!’

  Davey’s eyes widened in horror. He was speechless.

  ‘It’s just . . . please, Mr Mudge,’ Sunil pleaded, ‘there’s a selector coming to our cricket practice tonight. It’s a big deal.’

  ‘Could you just give me my bat back for the night?’ Davey asked, his eyes wide. ‘And then you can lock it up.’

  Mudge’s eyes narrowed, and his cheeks grew more and more crimson.

  ‘I’m sorry, boys, but you’re confusing me with someone who CARES!’ he exploded.

  The boys stared at the floor in silence.

  ‘AND I’ll be calling your mother now to tell her that your bat will be in my possession for some time,’ Mudge added with satisfaction.

  ‘No!’ Davey cried.

  ‘No?’ Mudge raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Sir,’ Davey mumbled.

  Mudge rocked back and forth on his loafers. ‘Now you lot can join me for rubbish duty for the, let’s see—’ He made a show of pondering. ‘I think before school and lunchtime for the rest of the term ought to do it!’ He grinned.

  ‘But—’

  ‘No buts, Warner!’ Mudge stomped a clumpy foot for emphasis. ‘Now, scoot!’

  ‘Sir,’ each of the boys mumbled as they filed past their teacher.

  ‘I think Mrs McKinley wants a word with you all,’ Mudge added, as he frog-marched them out of the staffroom. ‘For some reason, she has forty extra band forms photocopied for me. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, Deep?’

  Sunil shook his head and made his way down to the office to face the music.

  CHAPTER 7

  SELECTOR REJECTOR

  That night, George, Davey and Sunil gathered with the rest of the Sandhill Sluggers for the extra training session at Flatter Park. As yet there was no sign of Benny, or the so-called selector.

  Davey was anxious. They all were – a mixed concoction of nerves and excitement.

  Davey decided to take Steve’s advice. He needed to try using other bats and improve his batting that way. He had no Kaboom, so he might as well use the next best thing.

  ‘Can I change my mind and try your bat, Deep?’ he said to Sunil.